One year ago on August 26th, I started a journey that would change everything: I began taking phentermine and eating lower carb at the suggestion of my doctor. I did not have much confidence that it would help me at all, and I had stopped blogging earlier that summer. I did not come back to update until October, when I shared what was finally working for me. And here is what happened in the last year: I went from 258 pounds to 183 pounds, a loss of 75 pounds!
Out of those twelve months, I spent about two and a half months off phentermine completely. In addition to that, I took a half dose on more than 60 days. That translates to my taking a full dose around 60% of the days this year. My doctor is happy with the way I have interspersed breaks in taking it so that it didn’t stop working and I never developed side effects. She says she would like to see me lose another 20 pounds or so, and that I can start taking it again at full dose as long as I am losing weight on it.
I think it’s a good time to press forward with losing. This particular weight was a very critical time for me when I got down to the low 180’s before (in 2010) and I believe that one of the reasons I didn’t keep it off was because I lost too quickly, without dealing with the emotions that come with a rapidly changing body. This time, I have been really working on accepting the changes, even embracing them, and not stressing out about it. I’ve been meeting with a counselor and he has helped me a lot with just re-framing how I see my body and my weight and how I handle any negative emotions as they come up. Hopefully September will be a good month of healthy eating and exercise along with phentermine to help me get into the 170’s. I have stayed in the 180’s since June and I weigh 183 pounds this morning, so I’ve had a good couple of months maintaining over the summer.
The thing that is most interesting to me is how last month, I got pretty lax with my eating but still did not gain. I am up one pound for the month, which is shocking considering how much and the types of food I ate. In the past, if I ate whatever I wanted, I’d gain 8 or 10 pounds in a week or two! To maintain, I had to stay really strict… especially if I was not formally exercising. An example: I noticed that in the entry linked above, last August, I wrote this:
“I let go and ate whatever. I went to the fair and had lemonade and a cheese steak and beer battered fries and a caramel apple. “But hey, I didn’t eat an elephant ear or any ice cream!” I dunno, I guess I just felt like ten years is enough and maybe I just should be who I am. And by August 26th, I weighed 258 pounds.”
I had a gain of at least 6 pounds from eating that stuff at the fair last year Funny thing is, I ate the SAME THINGS this year, *plus* the ice cream and a shared funnel cake, and fried pickles! How is it possible that it affected me so badly a year ago, but not now?
I think something really has been fixed that was broken. I have been able to eat the things I like without getting out of control, feeling bad, gaining weight. It’s a great feeling. I just hope it lasts. There is always that scary element of “I thought I would never regain, but I did. And it could happen again.” But for now, I am just taking it slow and figuring it out as I go along… and enjoying it.
You can see by my Instagram that I am certainly not starving myself or even eating tiny portions all the time anymore. Chicken fried steaks, mashed potatoes, bacon and eggs, wings, steaks, tamales, corn on the cob with lots of butter or mayo/cotija, hash browns… it’s not “diet food” and not even all low carb. Last night was a splurge: New York style pizza (and yes, I ate the crust), garlic bread sticks, and salad plus a cinnamon roll for dessert. I have eaten candy. I have eaten regular, high fat, high sugar ice cream. BUT, I have never binged, and I have interspersed those meals with low carb things like spaghetti squash, cheese, salads, fresh tomatoes, and keto desserts and breads. The farmer’s market has provided me with plenty of berries, apples, melons, peaches, and nectarines, which I do not restrict in any way. And I have loved all the iced coffee with cream this summer… at least 3 a day! I feel like I am finally eating like a “normal” person with no stress about it, no guilt, no pressure to avoid anything in particular. And the best part is, no food obsession!
Here’s to a GREAT September! It’s off to a wonderful start already!