I don’t know about you, but it seems like Christmas absolutely snuck up on us.
I was talking to our priest a few weeks back and he said that this is the shortest possible Advent that could be.
To the tune that, the Fourth Sunday of Advent is also Christmas Eve.
So my fellow Catholics out there: how will you be navigating that logistical conundrum?
Our church, for example, will only be having one Mass on Sunday morning to serve as the Fourth Sunday of Advent. And then starting at 3pm, they will be having Christmas Eve (vigil) Masses.
Our family will be going on Saturday night for the Fourth Sunday of Advent, and then 3pm on Sunday for Christmas Eve.
My parents on the other hand will be going to 9am Mass on Sunday morning, and then again at 3pm on Sunday for Christmas Eve with us.
Anyway — feel free to sound off in the comments what you’re planning to do with the scheduling challenges this brings.
Honestly, “challenge” isn’t the right word…because any opportunity to go to Mass is a blessing…it requires a little extra planning when coordinating with my parents, my brothers’ families, etc.
ANYWHO –
I wanted to take a minute tonight to give a bit of a pep talk of sorts to my recovery warriors out there. Though it seems like a long time since I’ve felt anxiety around the holidays due to food/weight comments/eating habits…the fact of the matter is: when you’re recovering from an eating disorder, big family gatherings that are heavily revolved around food can be a ginormous challenge.
Especially with family members you may not see very often — or who may be lacking in certain graces needed when it comes to your recovery — it seems like the peanut gallery always has something to say that can be…for lack of a better word…triggering.
And staying strong in your eating disorder recovery can be a real test of strength.
All of the food focus, the family meals, the Christmas parties — I just remember the dread I felt when I was early on in my recovery.
But now, 16 years strong in my recovery, I have come to love this time of year again, and I welcome it with open arms. It’s taken me a long way to get to where I am today, and I’ve learned a lot along the way.
So here are some tips for those navigating recovery, and also for loved ones, to get a glimpse into what your dear one is going through.
1) Realize that people are going to say dumb things.
Here’s the thing: an eating disorder is difficult to navigate to all parties involved. And the fact is, sometimes, well meaning relatives or adults can say some pretty stupid things. And the thing about recovery from anorexia is that, yes – your body changes. Your progress is visible to people. And that’s a good thing! But not everyone knows how to react…tactfully. I remember going to a doctor’s appointment right after I got home from inpatient, and my male GI doc goes, “Wow, looks like you found McDonald’s!”
Facepalm.
People are going to say dumb things. And just let it roll off you. You’re beautiful. You’re healthy. And you’re reclaiming your life.
2) Give yourself permission to take a breather.
There can be a lot of stress and togetherness during the holidays. And sometimes, you just need to take a minute to yourself. And that’s okay. Know your limits. If you feel like, “I can’t take another minute of Aunt Ruth talking about how relieved she is that I’m doing better” just politely excuse yourself, find a quiet corner of the house, or step outside, and take a little break. Deep breath. I am loved. I am worthy. Jesus, be with me right now.
3) It’s just a cookie.
Thanksgiving and Christmas time are full of delicious goodies. That’s the long and short of it. Pumpkin spice lattes, Christmas cookies, eggnog, hot chocolate. For someone in recovery from an eating disorder, thinking about consuming those things makes them go into a cold sweat. But you know what? They’re delicious. And they’re not going to hurt you. Having a cookie or a treat in moderation is part of a healthy diet. Enjoy it! Partake in the festivities! You’re worth it.
4) The Power of Positive Thinking.
Sometimes, thinking about going to a party can bring on the anxiety. Before hand, close your eyes and envision yourself having a blast. You’re talking, dancing, wearing something that makes you feel confident, and truly enjoying yourself. Embody that girl of your dreams! Channel her spirit!
5) Have a support person.
Sometimes it can help to have a confidant at the party, with whom you can share your trepidations. Just give them a heads up that you could need a little extra support at the outing. Knowing that someone is on the same page and knows what you’re going through goes a long way.
6) Remember the reason for the season.
Focus on the people you love. The less you’re thinking about yourself, the more you will enjoy the best season of the year. Honestly, at the end of the day, people love you for who you are. Not for what you look like. Not for what you’re wearing. Not for how you perceive your body to be. People love you for you. Love them back.
7) Pray your way through it.
Finally, there really is power in prayer. Sharing with Jesus your fears and anxieties and allowing Him to love you is the best thing you can do to navigate a difficult situation. Accept His peace. And remember that your worth comes from Him.
This is the best season of the year, and remember that you’re alive to enjoy it. Keep that in perspective. You’ve chosen life. You’ve reclaimed your health. You’ve won the battle, and sadly, not everyone does. Remember how blessed you are.
You survived. Celebrate that.
For more recovery advice, and a guided recovery companion journal, you can order my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones by clicking on the link below.