Hold on for one second, can we all just acknowledge that some random Facebook App has deemed my countenance most closely resembling that of Lara Croft in Tomb Raider? Compared to…Mickey Mouse, I guess? I don’t care, I’ll take it. Please, and Thank you. Now that we’ve dealt with housekeeping matters most pressing, I’ll let you know what I’ve been doing, and that is not been preparing much new *quality* blog material unless you count my diatribe on Running! In the last 19 months or so, the subject matter of my writing has remained largely the same: organic gardening, fitness, running, eating disorders and mental health. When I first began publicly sharing my life, the ratio of posts devoted to gardening and …
bulimia nervosa
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Dr. Candy Crush, Dogs, & Triggers
I saw my psychiatrist today for a medication management appointment. Yes, Dr. Candy Crush, again. In her defense, she was actually pretty focused today. I attribute this mainly to the brevity of the appointment and the fact that I came straight in, disregarded the usual pleasantries, and immediately stated my request. I’m growing fairly certain she’s ADHD. Source Although, the perpetual communication breakdown probably lies with me. I’m the patient and am therefore, the affected one. Hard-knuckling through a bi-monthly face-to-face of endless, repetitive droning about my *horrible life cognition* has got to be brutal, whether her time’s compensated or not. I mean, who would sit, hands steepled, transfixed, while I regale them with fresh hell from neuron-to…
bulimia nervosa
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Taking The Initiative
Anorexia Nervosa Genetics Initiative is a global research study designed to help learn more about why some people have eating disorders and why others do not. The University of North Carolina is recruiting 25,000 participants total, most of whom have (or have had) Anorexia Nervosa and about 8,000 individuals with no history of an eating disorder. They are asking participants to provide some information about their medical and psychosocial history as well as to provide a blood sample. In order to participate, there are a few steps to go through. Since I am going through the process myself, I figured I would walk everyone through it to demonstrate how simple it is to join this study and help further Eating Disorder Research: First, they will set up a phone …
bulimia nervosa
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Vegan or Orthorexic?
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably know of at least one person who has either tried or adopted the vegan lifestyle. Vegetarians do not eat meat, fish, or poultry. Vegans, in addition to being vegetarian, do not use other animal products and by-products such as eggs, dairy products, honey, leather, fur, silk, wool, cosmetics, and soaps derived from animal products. -The Vegetarian Resource Group I think that when people choose to go vegan and their hearts are truly in the right place about it, it reflects in their behavior, decision making and outward countenance for the better. When I went vegan between the years of 2007 and 2013, it was for the purposes of restricting. I was basically using the lifestyle as a socially …
bulimia nervosa
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Racecars & Reality
To say it’s been a while since my last post would be an understatement. It’s been 35 days since I last hit the “publish” button on the blog. And it feels a great deal longer than that! Making my life and thoughts available for public consumption has become so natural, so routine and so vital to my identity that a separation from writing and publishing, however brief, is unwelcome–distressing, even. I’m glad to be resuming a normal writing schedule for both the blog and my offline writing project. And to address the break itself, I’ll say that things hadn’t–and haven’t–been going so well for me personally: internally and emotionally. I could just say: “I went off my …
bulimia nervosa
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Dear Sir
Also published on The Mighty.com: To the Father of the Little Girl, Whom He Teased Publicly About Being ‘Fat’ Dear Sir, I’m guessing you didn’t mean intentional harm when you laughed loudly and instructed your young daughter to get on the scale at the Publix supermarket so you could see how “fat” she was. I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by your thoughtless remark. In fact, you acted quite tickled with yourself, as though what you’d said had been rather clever. You even looked around to gauge the reaction of onlookers — a goofy, expectant grin pasted on your face. You waited for those within earshot to reward your “witticism” with a hearty chuckle. When you made eye contact with my friend who’d been there, …
bulimia nervosa
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Infectious Pain
Because my body’s been fighting a nasty infection, I’ve been feeling run down, sleeping terribly, and really struggling to get through any physically demanding tasks. Activities that I enjoy; love even, have felt grating. I started prescription antibiotics on Friday, and when I woke up Sunday, wasn’t really expecting much in the way of motivation. I’ve been running, of course, because, if you know me, you know I will run with a severed head if I can manage it. I’ve also put in a little time into the garden each day–just not as much as I ought to at this point of the season. I know I need to step it up, but I’ve felt so below par and, this is going to sound counterintuitive, but, …
bulimia nervosa
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A Case of the Tuesdays
TRIGGER WARNING: Note that this post contains images which I feel obligated to warn may be triggering to some eating disordered individuals. If you are currently struggling, you might want to skip this one for now! I have a confession to make. It’s going to reveal a not-so-flattering facet of my personality. I’ll probably come off seeming selfish and resentful. Petty. Hateful even. But I have to come clean. I despise Tuesdays. Why not Mondays? You might be wondering. Mondays are actually second on the “most-dreaded days” list, but I fear Tuesdays the most. This is going to sound horrible, and I really have no excuse for what I am about to share… But, I don’t like Tuesdays because of… …
bulimia nervosa
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Spin Cycle
I’ve always been emotionally explosive. Rather, I’m like a raw nerve. I wasn’t diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, (Type I, Severe, Rapid Cycling), until I was 32 years old, but when I finally got the diagnosis, hot damn, did my life-long wild and erratic behavior suddenly begin to make a lot more sense to me. It was an enormous relief to have some sort of explanation for the rampant mood swings, the overwhelming irritability, the rages, the meltdowns, the all-or-nothing approach to ABSOLUTELY EVERY ASPECT of my life. Finally, I felt less alien, less alone. There were others out there, just like me, bouncing off the walls, invincible; out of their head with grandiose plans to achieve this, that and the other…and then, the next week, …
bulimia nervosa
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When it Rains…
When it rains, it pours, right? Or so the saying goes. It actually did finally rain a great deal this week, and the garden saw that it was good: Yep, that’s a real live pineapple you see right there, and I’ve got six of them. They are all the product of table scraps. Amazing, right? I will show you an easy how-to guide in an upcoming post so that you can grow your own pineapples at home. While I was working in the garden today, I had a few lucky ladybugs join me. Do you know why ladybugs are considered lucky? They are a farmer’s friend. They help keep away the destructive pests naturally. I was very busy yesterday transplanting all of my …