Sitting in the restaurant the other day with my daughter I became aware that I was experiencing a familiar dynamic of dis-ease as I repeatedly looked at the waiter and toward the kitchen doors, as if my very impatient stare could result in a quicker delivery of my lunch. I had been so wrapped up in my morning errands that I forgot to take care of my nutritional needs and now I was HUNGRY. When I finally became aware of the ridiculous emotional state I was in, a combination of irritation and anxiety (verging on panic), I had to chuckle to myself. This was certainly an emotional relic from my past harkening back to my food and diet obsessed days of vilified hunger. Now I teach …
recovery
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Divine Spark of Light
When I was 17 yrs old I had an experience that I will be eternally grateful for. I was selected to be a part of a team of youth in a summer camp environment where we presented ‘talks’ to kids and other youth on a variety of topics. There was an incredible amount of creative license afforded to us by the adults who administered the program. We were able to select the topic and create all the content with no outside shaping. This allowed the unbridled imagination of youth to emerge forth in a discussion of the world from a largely unjaded mind. Having had, what can only be called, a spiritual awakening the summer prior, I had an undeniable knowledge of God/Spirit/Source (etc) that …
recovery
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Mindful Eating Meditation (audio)
Have you heard the buzz about mindful eating? The research supports that mindful eating leads to regularly choosing smaller portions, healthier food selections and more satisfaction with every bite. What I have discovered is the incredible beauty and abundance in every bite when approached with the total attention offered through mindfulness. Mindful Eating can completely shift how you experience food. By awakening to your senses the food can become alive, more vibrant and more delightful than ever before. So often we eat without really experiencing, we are forking for the next bite while the current bite is just underway. How many times have I nearly finished a meal only to realize I hadn’t been there for it at all. In this meditation I will give a …
recovery
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A Profound Courtesy
There are times when I look at my children and become so overcome with gratitude it actually momentarily takes my breath away. In our family we call these ‘love attacks’. “Oh honey” I say through teary eyes while having held a stare a little too long, “I’m having a love attack” and my kids ready themselves for a relentless round of hugs and smooches. A couple of weeks ago I had a poignant ‘love attack’; only not for another person but for life itself. I was on a run through my favorite forested route, Beyoncé’s ‘Halo’ was coming through my headphones on high volume, the sun was offering reams of golden ribbons through the leafy branches, the breeze was cool …
recovery
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Baring it all in the Bedroom
Ever wrap a bed sheet around your behind so your lover wouldn’t see you as you got up to go to the bathroom? I talk a lot about the impact of negative body image on one’s relationship with oneself but I don’t often discuss how it impacts our relationships with others. Loathing our bodies has many detrimental repercussions on our willingness to get out in the world and connect. Before I walked The Deeper Cravings Path™ and learned to love my body how many social gatherings and family events did I dread for fear of someone noticing I had gained weight? How often did I want to stay home rather than go out because nothing fit right? How often did I meet someone with …
recovery
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3 Tricks for Handling the Treats
This time of year can induce feelings of dread; the taunting of the treats in the cupboard, the overage at the end of the night when not enough kids came by, the guilt about the carnage of shiny wrappers in the trash bin. Halloween doesn’t need to be so frightful. There are ways we can approach these sugar filled holidays gently and joyfully. Here are my 3 tips for shifting your relationship with sugary delights: 1) Permission Our past shame-filled eating escapades have left us telling a story that we can’t be trusted with anything sweet. What usually results is a promise to ourselves of absolutely none. That’s when the battle begins. We feel the restriction and deprivation and the rebel in us rears …
recovery
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The Comparison Trap
“She is so amazing, articulate, beautiful, thin, accomplished, confident” with every recognition of beauty in that person, that object of our envy, we sink further and further in to self doubt and inner criticism. I call these experiences our toxic comparisons. In my body loathing days I was filled with them – daily. All around me were women I perceived to ‘have it’, the secret to having it all together in the realm of diet and weight management. They looked so cute and put together in their tiny outfits and radiated with confidence. With every observation came more and more reason to beat myself up. I recently had this familiar experience once again only not about my body but about my work. I was at…
recovery
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From Weight Watchers to Weight Wisdom
I had a big reaction initially when I heard the news that my beloved teacher Oprah is not only on the Weight Watchers diet herself but she has also decided to become a major shareholder in the company. Following my first response of gutted disappointment I was able to temper my response to one of loving curiosity. Everyone is entitled to change their minds after all. However, I so wonder what has led her to this place? What has transpired in her relationship with food and her body since her outspoken support of the non-diet movement to bring her to Weight Watchers’ door? What will be the impact of this decision? Are there any positive opportunities for women that could possibly come from this influential move? …
recovery
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A New New Years Tradition
I don’t remember when my former New Years tradition began but I am guessing it lasted for at least 20 years. Gearing up to the big day I would get intoxicated with excitement about my resolve to be perfect in my eating and exercise habits. I would completely convince myself that this was THE YEAR, that come New Years Day by life would be forever transformed. The resolution would always be born out of disgust in the state of my body and remorse about the gorging that would have happened in the prior weeks during the Christmas sugar haze. Then, like every other year before and every other diet I had ever been on I would eventually fall off course and return to old ways drenching myself …
recovery
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Your Body: A Tumultuous Love Affair
You look in the mirror; you hate it. You give birth to your baby; you love it. You try on your bathing suit; you hate it. You finally feel better after a nasty flu; you love it. Your pants are too tight; you hate it. You feel proud of your workout; you love it. Up and down, up and down, over and over again. For many of us there are far more downs than there are ups and the dysfunction in the relationship can sadly last a lifetime… A couple of weeks ago I took my daughter swimming at our local YMCA. We were getting changed beside a couple of women (who looked to be in their mid 70s) having a friendly post-workout conversation. One was …