Happy 2015 lifers, It all started last Sunday when I wanted Thai food and I had no one to go with me. I didn’t want to get take out and have it cold when I got home. I saw a Thai food restaurant and was thinking that I should just go inside by myself, sit down at a table and take myself out to dinner. Um…just take myself out to dinner? alone? It’s something I have not done before. I’ve cooked for myself before, but I’ve never gone and sat down into a restaurant alone and ate. Never, ever. A lot in part because I know Ed would take a seat right next to me and learning how to entertain him as a …
anorexia nervosa
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Happy Second Birthday Hello Life: Celebrating 2 Years Without A Scale
I still remember the day I gave up my scale two years ago today. It was the most painful day of my life. I didn’t know how I would make it without waking up each morning and knowing what number I was that day. How would I know if I was good? How would I know if I was bad? How would I know anything if I didn’t have my number on the scale to tell me. Today, I know that I am no longer defined by a number. This is what I was defined by today: (a text message from my 11-year-old brother). “Happy Hello Life Day!You taught me what never giving up means. You taught me what it means to …
anorexia nervosa
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My name is Shira. I’m 24. And I just took myself out to breakfast.
Happy Sunday fighters, Today was a huge day for our Hello Life community. It was the day we chose to take on our 2015 challenge/resolution of taking ourselves out to eat alone. While this resolution/challenge started out as just my own, many of our fighters took it on as well. We had people in the United Kingdom, New York, California, Oregon and Ohio take part in this challenge today with us. I have a lot to say about this experience and I want to share every part of it with you guys. I want to start by saying thank you to my dear friend and hero in New Jersey, (another fighter of ours), because if not for her support while I did this, I don’t …
anorexia nervosa
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Goodbye to measuring coffee creamer
Happy Thursday fighters, I know this post comes at a random time, but I had such a hello life moment this morning, I had to share it with you all. I was making my coffee this morning when I realized that my one tablespoon measuring spoon I use to measure my exact one table spoon of coffee creamer each morning was gone. If you guys remember, in my post about taking myself out for breakfast last month, I wrote about how I’ve transitioned coffee creamer back into my life since I started recovery two years ago. First, I started with sugar free coffee creamer and measured a tiny teaspoon of it. Then I moved to fat free creamer and used a tiny teaspoon to measure. Then …
anorexia nervosa
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Three Year Flashback To When Coffee Was Lunch
Happy Thursday beautiful fighters, I came across this photo today. It’s a picture of my three little brothers that I took three years ago today. I had taken them out for a fun day of lunch and bowling. Do you see that cup of coffee to the right hand corner on the table? That was my lunch that day–my lunch and breakfast actually. I remember that day because I specifically remember every single Ed thought that I had that day. I even remember the jeans that I wore. (I remember because I chose them because they were my baggiest pair). It was a Sunday so that meant that I was going to my then-boyfriend’s mom’s house for dinner that night. How was …
anorexia nervosa
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Time to come together to help others
Happy Tuesday dear fighters, I want to start this post off by saying thank you to all of our fighters around the world to continue to blow me away every day. To the fighters who are wearing their Hello Life bracelets, to the fighters in our multiple online support groups and to the fighters who are there for each other every single day, even a year and a half after this blog ended, thank you. I write this post today to ask for your help. Some of you may know that in the past few months I’ve decided to launch Hello Life’s nonprofit organization in Washington. Our official name is Hello Life Eating Disorder Recovery Services. After years of mentoring others and seeing how much …
anorexia nervosa
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Seven hours in the life of an eating disorder mind
I talk about self-love a lot. I write about it a lot. I instagram about it a lot. It’s kind of become who I am in my new recovery world.. I’ve been in recovery from my eating disorder for two years now. Naturally, I’m expected to love myself all the time, right? Naturally, I’m expected to not have any more eating disorder thoughts or negative self-talk, right? No. Wrong and wrong again. Maybe in our eating disorder minds that are wired for perfection, those things would be true. But in the mind of a person in recovery, like me, where perfection no longer is an option to strive for, those things cannot be true. So, let me walk you through just …
anorexia nervosa
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Not the only one to eat more than one cupcake
Hello amazing fighters! I’ve been wanting to write a blog post for a while now and today I finally got the little voice that told me it was time. This past week’s experiences are definitely worth a blog post. It truly started on Tuesday when I walked to a local bakery with some of my co-workers for a video we are filming for work. Of course, I knew about this bakery, but they didn’t and they were so excited to check it out. After shooting the video, I felt like it was polite to buy something. And I was with my co-workers who have never been there before, so why not, right? Without question, it wasn’t part of my “Tuesday …
anorexia nervosa
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The first fight of 2016
Hello beautiful fighters, It’s the second day of 2016. Only the second day. And here I am, already being thrown into my fight recovery fight of 2016. I was getting my nails done today by the same person who has done them for almost two years now. I was getting ready to leave when out of no where she said, “I remember when you used to be small like me, but now your bigger.” There it was. My biggest recovery fear just came to life. The “now your bigger” comment. I could feel my eyes getting watery and the tears starting to come so I paid and rushed out of there to my car as fast as I could. I sat there in my car …
anorexia nervosa
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Celebrating three years of freedom
Happy 3rd Hello Life anniversary fighters! Three years ago today I gave up my scale for good. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, and at the time, I didn’t even know why I truly wanted recovery. I just knew one thing: that I didn’t want to let this scale, this Godlike object, to control my entire world anymore. Seven days after I gave it up, I found myself wanting it back. I missed it. I missed its certainty; I missed its validity; I missed its complete magical ability to tell me if today was going to be a good or bad day and if I was a good or bad person just by stepping on it. I missed the certainty ; …