I got asked if i ever regretted recovery, and to answer honestly. And my aanswer is a complete and honest NO. It would be very hard to write this blog, to help so many others, motivate people to recover if I, myself secretly longed back to being underweight.I dont ever want to go back to the way i was before. Tired, so filled with hate towards myself, the world and everyone around me. Constantly hungry, but at the same time full and sick feelings. Watching as everyone else ate and lived life. Exercising for hours, and self harming in all sorts of ways. No sleep. Too many thoughts, too many guilt feelings and panicked feelings. I would never go back to that just so that i …
anorexia nervosa
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Sunshine, ice cream and Oreos
What is the best way to celebrate that now I have a few days off from school with only at home study – of course to eat ice cream and Oreos in the sun!Though that wasn’t my initial plan for the day. My initial plan was to clean the apartment and get laundry done (decided to do that another day ^-^) and to but some normal summer clothes as I pretty much just wear the same clothes all the time and when I do but clothes it’s just workout clothes. However only 5 minutes into browsing the stores I realised why I hate it and don’t buy clothes other than online…. its so much stress,so many people and just all too much for me. And instead …
anorexia nervosa
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A photo doesnt tell the whole story
Recently i made a post on my instagram with this picture:Which basically said… the picture doesnt capture the x amount of crisp bread with spread i ate beforehand while making the meal or the chocolate covered licquorice eaten afterwards. And not to mention that not all the nuts in the picture were eaten but extra haricot verts were added as well as sauce. So one food picture doesnt show the whole story… just because you see food plated doesnt mean that that was all the person ate.Unfortunatly there are food accounts out there who make food just for the sake of the picture, people who prepare and make food, take a picture and throw it away. And it isnt uncommon for recovery accounts to plate …
anorexia nervosa
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Mindful eating infographic
I was asked about true hunger and i thought i would post this infographic about mindful eating, and then answer the actual question with my own tips and advice in another post. But i thought this inforgraphic was rather good.Though it it us to you about how “mindful” you actually want to be, because sometimes in recovery its better to not be so mindful and to just eat… not be acutely aware of every bite you take and obsessively taking 30 chews each bite and taking an hour to finish a small meal. Mindful eating is usually a good thing to try to do if you struggle with binge eating or over eating, then it can be good to not get super distraced while eating but also …
anorexia nervosa
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Spending the weekend out on an island
Good morning, it’s only 10am but feels like half the day has already passed. As usual i woke up around 5.30/6am due to my bodies own alarm clock, and despite not having any lectures today it nice to wake up early and start my day early… (and other days its nice to just sleep as long as i can with no alarm clock!). I got up and got ready and decided to go to the gym however once i got there i realised that it didnt open until 8am as it is a sort of holiday-day, so shops open later than usual as well as most people being free from work or school, though i didnt think about that. I had more than an hour …
anorexia nervosa
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Sunshine and travelling out to an island – flexing and happiness
Hello 🙂 I am sorry for the lack of posts today and i guess the next few days, but i am going to really enjoy the sunshine and try to just disconnect. But leave topics or questions and i will try to answer them and schedule some posts :)Today has been a great day so far! After my morning post today i bought myself some strawberries and then ate them on the train to Stockholm while trying to study. And then i was home for about 5 minutes before i had to leave again where it was a drive out to the boat to the island (with a stop to do some food shopping!).Once out on the island it was just to unpack, sit in the …
anorexia nervosa
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Intuitive eating
Intuitive eating…. One of those tricky things which most people dont even really know what it means. They want some concrete plan… they follow what everyone else is eating or follow the latest diet, not sure how to eat or what is best to eat. But really, eating to maintain weight is quite simple – back to basics really. Eating a diet filled with lean protein, complex carbs, healthy fats, vegetables as well as getting your nutrients and minerals and also those special treats when your body and soul just need them. That is a balanced diet and a healthy diet. Though how much of what you should eat… that depends on the person and the persons needs.Listening to your body isnt easy for anyone. Most people …
anorexia nervosa
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Remember to praise yourself and the small recovery wins
the hardest part about recovering from a dramatic mental illness is that the only ones who notices the small things are yourself and your therapist.your friends, your family, the people you love — they’re flat-out not gonna care if you take a shower instead of cutting yourself, or if you get in all your meals for a day, or if you curb your spending significantly, or if you go for a walk instead of locking yourself away and crying.to us, these are major accomplishments. they’re fucking cake-worthy victories deserving of celebration.to everyone else, it’s just behaving kind of “normal”, and will always be compared to your other problematic behaviors — “why are you still behaving so histrionically when it comes to sex?…
anorexia nervosa
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Focusing too much on food
Did you know that thinking about food all the time, dreaming about food, spending hours planing and thinking about food, collecting recipes obsessively, always making food for others, always baking and cooking but rarely eating it, isnt a healthy mindset? Focusing too much on food, where all your thoughts and time is spent on food is not healthy.A problem which can make recovery harder is when there is too much focus on food. Of course when you have an eating disorder there is ALOT of focus on food and as well when you are in recovery. Then you think about your next meal, the fear foods you have to eat, the foods you want to eat, the foods you want to bake/eat, the foods you …
anorexia nervosa
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What to do when you are on your own (for example during the weekend)
I got asked if i could suggest some things to do when you are on your own for a weekend. This can be good for those of you who are in treatment and get ‘time at home’ where you might be on your own. So here are some things you can do!! Note some of them are more active things, so depending on what stage you are in you might skip those suggestions :)Take a long bath/showerStart a new series and watch loads of them/have a movie marathonRead a new bookDraw/colourResearch something interestingWatch “how its made” videos Have a spa day/eveningBuy some delicious snacks and foodsRedecorate a roomPaint/draw/writeWatch youtube tutorialsExperiment in the kitche/bakeExerciseYoga or meditationPlay sims or other computer gamesGo …
anorexia nervosa
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Start the day fresh and dont let fear hold you back
Good morning world :)Or well those of you who decide to check in on my little blog and my updates! It is Saturday morning, the sun is shining and today there is nothing planned to do. Well it is hard to plan to do anything when you are out on an island, there’s not really any place to go or anything to do. Instead it is about creativity and spending time with others… or well, relying on internet and watching Youtube videos. And i did a bit of both yesterday!Lots of exercise yesterday and lots of time in the sun lead to a very tired and somewhat red body today. To sum up yesterday, it was a nice day where i didnt do so much but …
anorexia nervosa
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Back to reality
Good morning! At the moment it feels very much like summer in Sweden and as I have been away on island and haven’t had any school it feels like it’s summer and like I have no more school. .. but that’s not the case. Instead I woke up this morning and realised it’s Monday and I have a test in 3 days as well as other school work to prepare for. I had my few days break which was necessary though if anything it’s made me a little less motivated to work…. as i don’t want to just lock myself in a library to study and I can’t seem to study outside. Anyway… ; the plan today is to head home to my own apartment and get some study done!…