I always liked Monica Lewinsky. Back in 1998, I was 20 years old, just a few years younger than she was at the time. Superficially, I looked a little like her — the plus-sized body (though she was probably smaller than me), the round face, the modified “Friends” haircut. People literally would yell out “Hey, Monica!” to me on my way to class at NYU. She lived just a few blocks away from my dorm at the time. A lot of people were in love with Bill Clinton then (me included). The 1992 election had been particularly exciting. After 12 years of Republicans, two relative cute, young-ish, progressive guys had taken over and they seemed to actually care about the economy and whether people had jobs …
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Just A Little Soap Can Go A Long Way
I get, literally, about ten email pitches a day. Most of them go directly to the trash folder (and, to be honest, my spam folder), but the email I got from Erin Zaikis made me want to reach out. Erin is the founder of a social enterprise and soap company, Sundara (www.livesundara.com). Her soaps are made here in NYC, and proceeds from their sales are being used to fund hygiene and water projects for children in underserved areas around the world. Sundara is currently operating projects in Haiti, India and Ghana – in schools, slums and community centers alike. Children in Haiti at a Sundara handwashing classWhy soap? Because getting kids access to soap and teaching them how to wash their hands actually has a …
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I Only Need Birth Control Because . . . I’m Only Fat Because . . . And The Politics Of Appeasement
A fun (but obviously photoshopped) image of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg Following the recent, horrendous Hobby Lobby decision, I’ve been seeing a spate of articles talking about why so many women need birth control not for controlling birth but for medical issues like irregular periods. I find this argument not only irritating but detrimental. I think the argument that birth control is not just birth control but medicine SUCKS as an argument. Why should it matter what anyone uses birth control for? Whether you’re having sex with multiple partners or just want to regulate your period — why is that anyone’s business? Why is that your boss’s business? It’s your body. It’s your choice. That’s all that matters. Let’s …
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Confession: I Still Have Occasional Body Image Issues That Are Exacerbated By Fatshion Blogs
Sometimes I find fatshion blogs to be fun and inspirational. And sometimes, well, not. I often recommend that clients look at more body positive blogs, especially ones with images of fat people. It’s a way to recalibrate your brain so that fatter bodies seem more like what they are – normal. (I’m not a big fan of the idea of normal, but often realizing that your body is normal rather than gross, weird, and abnormal is an important step in your body love journey.) After practicing serious, radical body love for about 7 years now, I rarely see an image that makes me feel bad about my body. But loving your body is often like peeling an onion, and though I’ve peeled away nearly all of the …
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The Chub Rub Solution!
My not-so-secret chub rub solution. Read on for details . . . Here it is, nearly August, and I have yet to write a post about the all-important topic of chub rub and how to avoid it. As silly as it may seem, I think being chub-rub-free has a big impact on your clothing choices. When you’re not worried about your thighs rubbing together, you can pick out clothes that you really feel like wearing. Plus, you can move more comfortably throughout your day! I’ve spent much of the summer testing different chub rub related products here at Body Love Wellness HQ, located in one of the grossest cities to be in in the summer, i.e., NYC. I’ve spent time on 100…
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Are you in? Summer Of Body Love Starts This Monday!
Summer is supposed to be a time of relaxation and fun. Picture summer and you probably think of spending time at the beach or pool, backyard barbecues, and time off from school or work. But when you hate your body, summer can be particularly treacherous. You can no longer cover up your body with lots of layers (at least not comfortably). You may want to spend some time at the beach or the pool, but the thought of actually wearing a swimsuit may fill you with anxiety. If you’re anything like I used to be, you’re probably finding yourself: Struggling to get dressed in the morning Worrying about your weight and what if anything you can do to change it Thinking of ways to cover …
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It’s Okay To Change Your Big Dreams
Image from justdd on 123rf.comIt’s been nearly five months since I’ve written a blog post. For someone who used to write one every week, this certainly feels very weird. A lot has changed for me in this last year. I got engaged, got married, and started a new “day job” working as a lawyer again. Because I’m working as a lawyer more, I slowed down my coaching practice quite a bit. All of the changes feel really good to me at this stage in my life. But 10 or 8 or even 6 years ago, they might not have. When I started my coaching practice in 2008, I had really big dreams. Dreams of reaching millions of people with a message of body love, making body …
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Ten Body Positive Tips For Plus Sized Brides!
Hello! If you’re reading this, perhaps you’re engaged, or soon to be engaged, or your wedding is imminent and you’re freaking out. Wherever you are in the wedding process, welcome! Just a few short months ago I got married to my longtime honey. Our wedding was fun, special and beautiful and unlike many brides, I actually got to enjoy it. However, weddings (and preparing for weddings) can be a time of lots of stress and pressure, especially when you’re plus sized. As I’ve touched on many times in this blog, being plus sized (or fat, I like the word fat) can add an extra layer of pressure onto the normally stressful stuff of life. Anyone who’s ever been on a job …
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A Mid-30s Crisis … Is that all there is?
It started as a subtle ripple … snippets of conversations with friends near and far about a year ago: though we felt fulfilled in our personal lives (family, kids, etc.), we felt “stuck” in our careers. In time, it turned into a strong undercurrent, a theme of this stage of our lives that has been bringing us down — not to the point of drowning, but to the point of losing our footing, slipping deeper into the sand, and getting splashed more than we’d like. It’s not that we don’t love what we do … we do … and, in this challenging economy, we feel blessed to be gainfully employed. But in spite of years of trying to get ahead and leave…
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Sibling Love: A journey from indifference to inseparableness
(Note: Sometimes I find writing I started but never finished … writing I intended to share on another platform, for a different audience. But when I found this tonight, I decided it to finish it and hit publish here. Because even in its essay format, the words belongs here on my blog — as a page in this chapter of my motherhood journey). I guess you could say I expected a bit more of an initial reaction when my daughter met her brother for the first time. While I dreamed of fireworks and an instant connection, I anticipated the worst: tears, a fit of rage … But what I got was something even more surprising. After months of build-up, excitement, anxiety … we got sheer indifference. …
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Holding My Breath
From where I stood, my heart was in my mouth. We were at the Big Kid playground at the elementary school where Maya will be starting kindergarten this coming fall. This playground is intended for kids ages 5-12, and sometimes we venture over there from the Little Kid playground so she can test her climbing skillz, while Ben typically just chases her up the smaller of the slides. But not yesterday. No … yesterday he was on a mission to match his sister’s bravery and give me a coronary x 2. I had told him begged him not to climb any higher, that he was too little for this super-high, curved yellow ladder. But in either sheer defiance or a surge of toddler bravado, he sought to …
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365 days
An entire year — 365 days, twelve months, four seasons –has passed since one of my best friends, Rachel, suddenly left this earth. I’ve dreaded this day for so long. April 1 is April Fool’s Day — a day for silly pranks and jokes — and I will always now equate it with the day Rachel died. I’d texted back and forth with her early that morning on her way to the hospital, wishing her a speedy procedure and recovery, and she assured me she’d let me know when she was done. But when I hadn’t heard from her three hours later, I got worried, and shot her a quick text, figuring she must just be groggy from the anesthesia. About an hour …