It dawned on me yesterday that I’m going to have to push a baby out here in two months!
I’m not going to lie, that was definitely a sobering thought.
I mean, this pregnancy has been an absolute dream — if you saw my Second Trimester Recap Video last Friday, then you know that I have been having an absolute blast being pregnant.
However, it finally hit me yesterday that…all this bliss comes to an end when it comes time to actually PUSH THIS GIRL OUT.
And yes, of course, the most joyful moment will follow: when she actually comes into the world and my husband and I get to hold her. However for the hours of labor before that…let’s just say for a gal who is going to do an unmedicated birth…with a baby in the 96th percentile…I’m going to need a lot of prayers.
Here’s the thing: I know that there are lots of ways to have a baby. And one is not better than the other. As I have been told by all my friends and fellow mothers, “There is no trophy given for unmedicated births.” And truly — the act itself of getting that baby out, either naturally or C-section — all ways are victories and worthy of a trophy.
But if you know anything about me and my history: I do not want to put anything in my body that doesn’t has to be there: AKA: an epidural.
I mean, I’ve been told to take a baby aspirin since I had covid early on in pregnancy, and it took me until 3 days ago to actually work up the courage to do it.
I just don’t like medication. Perhaps it was having to be on literally over 100 pills a days when I was trying to get out of my ulcerative colitis flare back in 2012 — none of which worked. Or perhaps being on the highest dose of the steroid, Prednisone, for weeks on end when I was in my first ulcerative colitis flare in high school: but I just hate drugs. And I will do whatever I can to avoid them.
I mean, hello: I’ve successfully managed my ulcerative colitis through DIET and kept it in remission for the last 15 years!
ANYWAY: that is why I do not want to have an epidural. I don’t want to put that heavy pain killer in my system…and therefore, my baby’s system.
And to be honest, I’m really not afraid of the pain. (OK, sure…I say that now…) But with all of the pain I endured during the ulcerative colitis flare that lasted 11 months and had me on bedrest — physical pain is no stranger in my life.
And so frankly, when it comes to childbirth: I welcome it. Because through it, I will welcome my daughter.
We had our baby shower over the weekend, and it was the most beautiful evening ever. Second only to our wedding.
But at it, I was chatting with a dear friend/mentor/wedding Godmother who herself has delivered nine beautiful children, all without an epidural.
And we had a really moving conversation about, how she did it. I mean, talk about a bionic woman!
She surrendered it all to God.
But she explained to me how I can offer up to God the pain and suffering I will endure during labor. And by uniting my suffering to Christ’s suffering on the Cross, thereby experiencing a splinter of what He did, it is a really powerful form of worship.
She shared that for each of her nine children, she had a different major prayer intention for each one of her births.
And when she shared that with me, it was so profound and striking, and it left me even more in awe of this woman’s strength and heart.
And it really inspired me.
Every one of us will go thorough suffering at some point in our lives – be it physical, spiritual or emotional. And there is power when we accept it, unite it with Christ’s suffering on the Cross, and offer it for the redemption or forgiveness of others.
This conversation was such a blessing to me, because it has given me such a profound perspective shift, and has really inspired me to spend these next two months to reflect on and decide the prayer intention I want to offer my labor for.
Have you heard of redemptive suffering? Is this something you’d like to join me in doing, as it pertains to your life?