My eating disorder story is pretty complicated but what is different from the stories that probably many people here in the US have is that I did not go through the treatment for the most part. When my ED was the most powerful, there were no treatment facilities like the American ones, so I stayed at a psychiatry ward in a hospital and received “treatment” by a psychiatrist. No therapy, no nutrition counseling. I had been flirting with quasi-recovery for a while until I finally made my mind to commit to recovery.
At that time, I was fortunate enough to find a HAES dietitian while I was studying abroad in Seattle. They were kind enough to see me on a sliding scale since I did not have insurance. They helped me a lot, while I was doing the work to unlearn diet culture and my fat phobia by myself, using the resources on social media (thanks to fat activists and recovery advocates as well as ED specialists).
Recovery took a while and I was not able to receive emotional support from my immediate family but thanks to supporters from different area of my life, I was able to get to the point where I am now, and I do not think about food, body, and body movement in the way that I used to when I was struggling. It is very freeing. Not only did I gain weight, but I gained connection with others, healthy relationships with food and body movement, confidence and more!
At the same time, I acknowledge my thin privilege that made me not “have to” deal with the oppression that people in larger bodies are exposed to daily and that makes their recovery even harder as well as my financial privilege to be able to access to the support that cost money though I am not coming from a high class family. I am still learning how to take better care of myself and become whole. Like many people, I am a work in progress and it is a damn amazing thing! Using my experience, I would like to keep empowering people who are in a rough chapter of their lives and be supportive of them.