Making decisions.
Ooooof.
It’s something I can’t say I am “quick” or especially “good” at.
Well, in certain areas of my life I am.
What should I have for lunch? Easy. So easy for me to know what my body wants.
No overthinking. I just know.
(P.S. It took me YEARS to get here… it wasn’t overnight.)
But in certain areas, decision making feels way harder.
Where + how to spend my money.
Big life decisions that hold a lot of consequence.
I’ve been talking to clients a lot in the past couple of weeks about big decisions they’re trying to make in their lives.
Whether or not to end things with someone they’re dating. Can I really trust the feelings I’m having? Am I being too picky?
Figuring out where to move or if they should move. Would I really be happier there? Or is it a case of grass-is-always-greener?
Deciding where to take their businesses next. Is this really the right next idea for me? How do I move forward?
And part of my job as their coach?
To guide them to listen to their intuition.
To use my listening and intuitive superpowers to extract from our conversations their truth.
To help them get to know how THEIR intuition speaks to THEM.
And it is the coolest thing to see – the process – and I say the word ‘process’ for a reason – of them making the decisions that are right for them.
I say the word ‘process’ because listening to your intuition around a decision is a PROCESS. And it’s a big misconception that we are just supposed to magically instantly KNOW what to do in every situation.
That’s not the reality!
The reality is that it takes time to understand what decision is ‘right’ for us. [and truly there is no RIGHT or WRONG decision, we try to make the MOST aligned decision, but we learn from EVERY decision we make]
It takes time to go through the human process of sifting through the fear and the doubt to clear the path for our intuitive voice.
It takes time to EXPERIENCE life (ie. more dates with the guy, taking trips to the new city you’re considering, playing around with things in your business) SO THAT your intuition can fine tune it’s knowing.
AND… learning how to listen to your intuition is a skill.
Here are some pointers for tapping into that intuitive knowing…
I can tell you how my intuition tends to speak to me, but the bigger question is, how does your intuition tend to speak to you?
One of my favorite questions to ask clients (feel free to borrow this for your own clients!) is…
If you think about some of the ‘best’ decisions you made in your life – ones that you are so happy you made – how did you ‘know’ in your body that it was the ‘right’ decision for you?
Clients will often talk about the partner they chose, or a move they made, or a job they took, or a relationship they walked away from, or a decision they made in their businesses.
And then they’ll talk about how they ‘knew’.
It felt like relief. It felt calm. It felt exciting. I woke up one day and just knew. My mind was calm. It felt scary but also like something was pulling me toward it and I had to do it. It felt expansive.
What about you? What would your answer to this question be?
Another great question to ask your clients, and yourself is:
If someone you trusted more than anyone were to give you permission to do something, what would you want them to give you permission to do? What do you REALLY want someone to give you permission for?
Another iteration on this question is – if you were to flip a coin on this decision, which side would you WANT the coin to land on?
This really speaks to the fact that we often KNOW what we want, but we don’t trust ourselves to make the decision. We want to know that everything will be okay if we make the decision we actually want to make, so we want someone else to give us permission and tell us it will be okay.
I talk about this more in depth HERE. [this is such a great question I come back to time and time again!]
And my last piece of advice is just a general overview of how our intuition tends to speak to us, but again… I would encourage you to think about how yours specifically speaks to YOU.
An intuitive “yes” typically feels like…
- Excitement
- Relief
- Like you are “moving forward” or “leaning forward”
- Expansive
An intuitive “no” typically feels like…
- Flat
- Contracting
- Like you are “moving back” or “leaning back”
- Disappointing in your body
And when you just don’t freakin’ know???
That’s okay, too! You’re not supposed to always ‘just know’.
If you’ve felt into the above questions + thoughts, and you still don’t know, take some more time to feel into it.
Like I said above, we often need to keep living life and taking action before our intuition really knows.
Go on some more dates with the guy. Try some new things in your business and see how they feel. Dip your toe into that new thing or place and see how you like it.
Give yourself space. Go easy on yourself.
Ask yourself, okay I don’t have clarity right now, but what’s a step I can take to help me gain that clarity? What’s the very next step for me right now?
And sometimes, when you’re tired of debating a decision, you just need to go for it.
Make A decision. Sometimes, making A decision is an important part of self-care.
And use it as a learning opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you want.
I love love love walking my clients through the journey of figuring out what’s best for them in all the little + big decisions in their lives.
One of the most powerful parts of having a coach is having someone who can tune into your own intuition when it feels hard to do that for yourself. Having someone who can clear the clouds and help your intuitive voice feel clearer and louder.
It’s one of my favorite parts of having a coach + being a coach, too.
I hope that if you’re trying to make some decisions right now, that this email is helpful.
The relationship you have with your intuition is a lifelong relationship, one that you get to continue developing. And with every decision you make, you learn more and more. About how your intuition speaks to you. About YOUR OWN process in decision making. About how to trust yourself.
P.S. I am LOVING coaching my private clients so much right now, that I am opening up a couple more private coaching spots. You can read more about coaching and apply here to work with me 1:1 ?