Pickles and ice cream. Weight gain. Difficulty putting on shoes.
I’m going to be honest: before I became pregnant, that was about all I knew about these 9…but really 10 months…of carrying a child.
Right now, I am 26 weeks pregnant. And this whole beautiful journey has been one huge eye opening experience.
Coming from a family of two older brothers, and being one of the first in my friend group to have kids…I had absolutely no clue what I was “in for” going into pregnancy.
You see, I think there’s this misconception that just by being a girl, you know all of the secrets and ins and outs of carrying a baby. But frankly — especially coming from NYC where, let’s face it: no one is pregnant — there are just certain things that you don’t know until you know. If that makes sense.
And so, I thought that I would compile a list of some things that have been a surprise to me. So that, if there’s anyone else out there who was like me and a bit in the dark about the reality of pregnancy, I can shed some light for if/when they — or their loved ones — find themselves “with child.”
Before I start this list, I just want to open with the fact that it is my life’s joy to be pregnant. This is what I have always dreamed of and prayed for since I was a little girl. And one that, due to all of the repercussions of the anorexia in my past, I didn’t know if it could actually be a reality.
Carrying our daughter is the greatest honor: I know that God is at work forming her in my womb, and it is such a privilege to be part of that process, and the vessel where that miracle is taking place.
During these last six months, I have felt closer to God than ever before. Closer to my husband and family than ever. And my life has had the most purpose and higher calling than I’ve ever felt. Everything – every food choice, every life decision, every little daily moment or sacrifice you make because of “pregnancy” – is a choice made in love with her best interest in mind. And I’ve felt a special connection with Mary.
So all that being said, allow me to highlight some of the most surprising things that I wasn’t aware of.
1. The fear of something “going wrong” in those first few weeks is inexplicable.
Not to start off on a dark foot here, but this is a huge reality for women when they find out they’re pregnant. They pee on a stick, find out they’re pregnant, and then have to wait for about six or seven weeks until they can see their doctor. So those weeks are excruciating. The excitement is so palpable, and yet: you know it is the most delicate time in the formation of your little babe.
Every time you go to the bathroom, you just pray you don’t see blood. You’re reading all the labels and double checking if things are pasteurized, and Googling every single symptom or activity or skincare ingredient or food item: “Is ________ pregnancy safe?”
There is just so much fear. Especially when getting pregnant in and of itself is such a miracle. I really had to surrender my fear — and this pregnancy — to Jesus and just trust that He would protect me and my baby. And that really helped.
2. You are intensely tired.
This one threw me for quite a loop. Because, particularly during the first trimester: you are acutely exhausted. I could make it through the day, but once dinner was cleaned up and it was 7:00…I was upstairs getting ready for bed. Because literally as soon as my husband and I would sit down to watch TV…I was out. Literally I was falling asleep for the night before 8:00.
I think back to my friends who were pregnant at my wedding, and I think to myself: Wow: what champs. WHAT CHAMPS to be out past 8pm and on a dance floor. Seriously so impressive. And also — I can’t believe I didn’t have a clue.
3. The “bloated phase” is dreadful.
OK, “dreadful” is perhaps a bit of a dramatic exaggeration. BUT, it is super annoying. Because you don’t fit into maternity clothes yet, and your “regular clothes” don’t fit anymore. And you’re just kind of in this no man’s land where a) you can’t tell anyone you’re pregnant because it’s too early, b) you don’t look “pregnant,” but c) you look like you’ve just finished a Thanksgiving dinner every day.
So yeah…that was not the most fun season to navigate fashion-wise.
4. Belly oil is your best friend.
I’ve used Hatch Belly Oil since I was about 12 weeks pregnant. One thing about skin that’s growing and stretching…is that it itches. Badly. This stuff…I slather it on twice a day. It smells amazing. It doesn’t make my clothes or bed sheet greasy or oil-stained. It absorbs quickly. MOISTURIZING IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
5. You’re gassy. And you pee in the middle of the night a lot.
OK – let’s get these embarassing truths out of the way in one fell swoop. I don’t know if maybe it’s just me…and if it is, then welp: I’m outing myself here! But there’s just a lot of gas that is happening in there. I had never tooted in front of my husband before EVER. And I will never forget, we were watching a movie, and *BOOP!* all of a sudden a cute little toot came out of nowhere! That’s the thing — in pregnancy, they come out of left field so there’s nothing you can do!! We both had an extremely hearty laugh, and Steven goes: It was the baby!
That, and you just pee all the time, but especially at night. We’re talking: minimum three times.
6. Feeling the baby kick is the most magical feeling in the world.
OK – so I realize that the majority of the things I’ve mentioned so far are negatives. But I’m really just trying to shine a light on the reality of pregnancy, because I literally thought you just gained weight and had weird food cravings. So I wanted to be real here.
But KICKS. These are the most beautiful things because they remind you at the most random times throughout the day that you’re with your baby! It reminds you that you’re growing your child, and that you’re a mom! It’s so exciting. And once they become strong enough that your husband can feel them too from the outside — it is such a beautiful bonding moment for the three of you, and it really makes your man feel part of the journey.
7. It’s fun to show off your bump!
Honestly, I’m having so much fun dressing my bump. I love form fitting things that really show off the little basketball I’m carrying!
8. Thigh rub is real!
Oh my gosh this one caught me the MOST by surprise! This is not something that I’ve had to deal with before, but WOW — I was wearing a long dress one afternoon and it got kind of warm. Chaffing on your thighs — and underarms — is no joke.
I’m going to link these pregnancy biker shorts that I wear every single day to combat this. (I have 8 pair!)
And for the underarms: it was because I was still trying to squeeze into my pre-pregnancy workout tops. So definitely invest in some new ones from the get-go.
Lastly: it goes by SO FAST!
I truly cannot believe that I’m already 26 weeks! Time is absolutely FLYING by. I want it to slow down! I am having the absolute time of my life. I truly LOVE being pregnant. Every day is special and has so much meaning and purpose. My husband and I are falling in love with our daughter more and more every day. And it’s just so exciting to dream and plan for and excitedly await her arrival this summer!
So to close, yes — there are a lot of things I didn’t know, BUT pregnancy truly comes so natural. We’re doing what God designed us to do as women!
So this list was merely just to share with anyone who may not be aware of or appreciate the Herculean task it is to grow a child. So may this serve as a glimpse into the reality of maternity living!