Surprise! I’m in Utah! My husband and I are out here with a bunch of friends for the next week!
One of the nice things about working from home is that we can…work from anywhere! (After all, that’s why my husband was able to relocate to Cincinnati from New York!) So we are big fans of taking advantage of that working from home life! ?
If you’ve never been to the mountains during the summer, consider this your formal invitation. And if you’ve never been to a ski resort during the summer, that’s a whole ‘nother experience.
One of the coolest things is to see how the mountain changes from the winter to the summer. What was once covered in a blanket of pure, white snow with skiiers making their way down, during the summer, is now just a canvas of all different shades of green, and aspen trees with their leaves dancing in the sunlight. You can see the different ski runs carved out of the side of the mountain, with big grooves of tree-less landscape, a familiar sight, just without snow.
And it’s really fascinating to see what’s beneath that beautiful winter covering.
I’m always struck, whenever we’re out here in the summer, how this revelation of the bare mountain mirrors that of our soul.
Underneath a protective layer of snow that smooths everything out, is this beautiful topography of land and flowers and shrubbery and rocks — but in order to see it, that snow has to melt away.
I think for a long time, I kept a “layer of snow” over who I really was. Given the anorexia in my past, and the shame and guilt I carried for a longggg time because of it, I decided when I moved to New York that I was never going to let that part of my history be part of my new life. Particularly when it came to dating. That part of my past was closed.
I was going to bury it beneath that layer of snow, smoothing everything out. But the thing is, that along with burying the rocks and craters and topography that I thought was too undesirable, I was also burying the beautiful parts that made this mountain unique, one of a kind, and truly special.
I’ll quit with the flowery analogy now, and get down to the real deal and land this plane.
Life is too short to spend it hiding who you really are from the world. The mountains are far more beautiful in the summer than the winter; why? Because you can actually see them.
And when you look at a mountain, you don’t see the individual rocks or bald patches of grass, or what have you. You see the whole. As it is with me. Sure, I’ve got some pretty hideous parts of my past: but the season of life that was stained by anorexia, it’s just a small part of who I am.
I am also a caring friend, a loving wife, a goofy aunt, a loyal daughter, a hard worker, an overcomer, a free spirit, and a daughter of God.
Hiding those things and not letting anyone truly in because I’m afraid of showing that one stain on my past is truly a shame.
And I thank God that He brought Steven into my life to help “melt the snow,” if you will, and help me to embrace every part of me.
He showed me that all of me is worth loving, not just the blemish-free facade that I felt safe behind.
So that’s all for tonight. Just a little note to say that you are worth loving. You have value, and beauty, and are precious as a child of God.