Hey everybody welcome back to the podcast. Today I want to talk about procrastination and overeating and what it takes to create permanent results. And how we can get all tangled up and end up putting things off and procrastinating and hanging out in the pantry instead of getting anywhere.
So recently, actually this morning, somebody shared this quote with me. I saw it on social. The quote is, we generate fears while we sit. We overcome them by action. And it was attributed to Henry C. Link. I don’t know who he is, but I like the quote, and the quote is what I want to talk with you about today.
We generate fears while we sit. We overcome them by action. Now, I’m a big thinker. I can think a lot of big thoughts and I work with big thinkers. I have this joke that I often make inside Your Missing Peace that together we can see the forest, we can see the trees, we can see the forest and the trees and the forest that’s next to our forest and the forest that’s beyond that and we can get really lost in all our big thoughts.
When I, or we, sit down to solve a problem, we tend to see the big, big, big meta picture. Now this is a strength, or it can be a strength. And it has honestly led me to a lot of accomplishments. It is also a liability, this ability to see all the trees and all the forests. It is also a liability that has contributed to a lot of emotional eating over the years.
I caught myself doing it today. I had a very simple task to do today that was literally going to take me 25 minutes. I know it was going to take me 25 minutes because I had literally decided that I was going to set a timer for 25 minutes and this was the time I was going to devote to this one thing.
But as is often the case when I lay things out in my mind, this one 25-minute thing links to other things. This project is the first in a string of projects, and my mind just naturally sees how they all connect. And because of this, I was telling myself how important, how consequential, how weighty this first action could be.
And as I hear myself saying that, that word could is really important. It’s how important this one action could be. As a side note, this is a thought that I made up because I could totally do a mediocre job on this task today and still keep going. But my high achiever brain gets so focused on the whole forest that suddenly this one task seemed both too small… Right? This is just one little tiny piece of the whole forest.
So, it’s too small to be worth anything, but also it is too important not to do perfectly. Brains are so tricky. I mean, my brain can sabotage me in both directions at the same time. So here I have this little task that I need to do and it’s too small, but it’s also too important and I feel overwhelmed and kind of frozen.
So, what do I do? I went to the kitchen and I got a graham cracker. Did I want a graham cracker? No. Was I hungry? No. Did I even taste the graham cracker? Well, I didn’t because I realized in that moment what I was doing and I put the box back. But I wouldn’t have tasted it. And to be clear, I probably would not have just tasted a graham cracker.
I probably would have not tasted at least two graham crackers, maybe more, all to procrastinate, all to try to postpone, or to avoid the pressure. That was created by my perfectionistic, unhelpful, big thinking brain.
What actually snapped me out of it was literally seeing that quote as I scrolled through social media in the kitchen. That quote again is we generate fears while we sit, we overcome them by action. And that’s Henry C link.
To be clear, I knew what I was doing. I knew that I was procrastinating. I knew that this project could be simpler, which is why I had said I was going to set a timer, but there I was with the graham crackers in my hand until I read that quote.
When I read the quote, it clicked something or it led something to click in my brain. I put the graham crackers away. I walked to my office and I have been here sitting at my desk working ever since.
So, let me ask you, how many times have you found yourself in this pattern? How many times have you found yourself in this pattern with food and to get really meta, how many times have you found yourself eating because that project in quotes that you’ve planned for yourself, that’s all about quitting your overeating, getting out of this overeating emotional eating business, or that project to lose the weight seems too big and overwhelming and procrastinating with a graham cracker or six or half a box feel so much easier.
The truth is that those big dramatic projects that I am so talented at planning in my head are almost never the answer unless the goal is burnout. Right? Or it’s a really short-term project. Whether it is a workout routine. I’m so good at dreaming up the perfect workout plan that includes all the different parts or overhauling my approach to meals.
I’m going to cook more. right? I’m going to. Go grocery shopping more often. Or figuring out a way to get more listeners to this podcast. Or figuring out how to let you know about my programs in a better way, or even cleaning out our hall closet.
The reality is that if I want to accomplish the goal and then maintain the goal, showing up for myself and building consistency in taking action, even if it is small action. It’s going to get me a lot farther, a lot faster, and it’s going to help me build permanent results far more than any quote unquote, perfect dramatic plan that I’m so good at creating. That leaves me tired and craving snacks and not even starting on it. And I can create those perfect plans all day long.
I bet you can too. And if you’re nodding along so far, I really need you to realize something. Everything I’m saying here is very true for transforming the way that you eat. The way that you think about food. When you think about food. Your cravings. Changing your cravings. Your urges to binge. Your emotional eating. Your stress eating. The number you see on the scale. The whole shebang. Everything I’m talking about here is true.
We generate fears while we sit, we overcome by action. And we create lasting change by taking the kind of action that is designed for the long haul.
Here’s another truth that’s maybe not so exciting. That action that’s designed for the long haul, taking that kind of action, the kind of change that this creates is often the kind of change that you don’t see happening in the moment. It can be subtle. It can be that kind of subtle, small incremental change that builds over time.
And there’s a good side to that. The habits become a part of you to the extent that you eventually don’t even think about them anymore. To the extent that that change doesn’t feel like change anymore. It doesn’t feel like something alien that you are trying to do. It just feels like you.
The downside is it can be subtle. You don’t always see it happening in the moment. And for somebody who has high achiever brain. Who has these big projects and can see all the results and can see how everything is linked. If you can’t see that what you’re doing is working, it can be really hard to continue.
Creating this kind of change, this kind of change that is designed for the long haul, freedom from overeating, a way of eating that happens naturally, a way of eating that you don’t have to think about every morning when you wake up and, and decide if it’s a good day or a bad day, a way of eating that feels comfortable.
This is awesome when you’re on the other side of it. Right? It is amazing when somebody in Your Missing Peace, for example, has that aha moment. When they realize, Oh my goodness, I haven’t binged in weeks. I used to do it every evening.
And it really often happens like that. Right? Because the change is incremental. It’s happening while you’re focused on, on creating the consistency and doing these other things and you don’t quite notice it until it catches up with you.
It is amazing when somebody realizes that their fall clothes are too big. They pull out their wardrobe for the fall. Right? And the clothes are too loose. But they weren’t agonizing over losing weight. It’s, they didn’t see the change happening. Right. They weren’t mourning that it didn’t happen or celebrating that it did happen every single day. It snuck up on them.
This is amazing when you’re on the other side of it, but as it’s happening? It can be tough. It can be tricky. And your brain, your high achiever brain, who wants the big, who wants the drama, who wants the exciting results, can have a hard time making peace with this.
Your brain can be really good at telling you, this isn’t working. You need to do more. You need to make the project bigger. If you’re going to do X you might as well also do Y. You know the drill; you know how your brain talks.
So, sitting can create and help us just stew in fear and can perpetuate procrastination and inaction. Right? We overcome that by taking action. But it has to be the right kind of action. The action that won’t overwhelm us. The action that doesn’t again, get us trapped in perfectionism. Right? Or burnout or plans that are just untenable or that make us miserable.
So, while you are doing these things, while you are pushing yourself not to sit, you’re facing your fear, you’re taking your action, you’re taking the sustainable action, you’re building consistency, it can be really invaluable to have support.
Support that helps you stop yourself. Recognize when you are creating goals that are going to lead you to that overwhelm and procrastination. That cycle where you’re either never getting started or you’re constantly starting over. Your brain is always going to tell you that one change this week is not going to be enough.
I can show you story after story of freedom from overeating that was built in just this way. By making one change, one small change that your brain said, well, that’s never going to, that’s never going to be enough. You definitely need to do more. So, you need the kind of support that is going to help you stay in that place. Help you stay out of that vicious cycle of creating drama and overwhelm and goals that are too big and projects that are not sustainable as you retrain your brain to do it differently.
You all, these pieces that I’m describing here really are the missing pieces of the overeating puzzle. They are really the pieces that get overlooked over and over and over again when smart, amazing women are trying to change their eating and emotional eating. Create a way of being with food that feels good so that they can get on with their lives.
These pieces, I cannot overstate how important they are. We focus on these things so much inside Your Missing Peace. And again, as I’m describing them, they may sound like little things. These are not little things. And I have seen amazing women whose brains have kept them stuck in these opposite beliefs. Right?
The belief that you need more drama. That you need a bigger project. That you need to work harder. Have kept them stuck in this place for years.
The other thing, as you are working to not sit in your fear and to take action and to take the right kind of action. The other thing that is really helpful is having support that is going to help you recognize and pull you back when you don’t recognize the value of the small habits. The value of the consistency that you’re building. And helps point out to you the confidence in yourself that is coming along with it.
When you can be consistent, when you can make promises to yourself with food and with your eating and with your wellness that you’re actually keeping, this is the foundation of amazing lasting change.
Something like walking in the door at the end of the day and not reaching for a snack that you aren’t even hungry for. It’s a big deal. It is a really big deal. And you know what? Your brain will deny it. Or maybe it’ll recognize it the first time, but then it is going to start saying things to you. Like, well, that’s not enough.
Your support system needs to cheer you on. This is so important. Your support system needs to help you override that part of your brain that is always telling you haven’t done enough. You have to do more, which leads to overwhelm and graham crackers.
And your support system needs to help you see that you are getting somewhere, that these small changes are not necessarily small, that they count. And that they have an impact.
Something that you may not know about me is that I only work with women, whether I’m working with you privately or whether you’re part of my group. I only work with people for a minimum of six months. And there are a couple of reasons for that. But the one I want to talk about here in this episode is that what you need to create that foundation. What you need to be able to take the right kind of action to lead to the changes that you want to make with food. Is support and permission to take time.
Is so important. Support and permission to take time to build that consistency and that confidence and the new habits that are going to lead to you achieving your goals.
Giving yourself time. Knowing that it is going to take time. Knowing that even though in those first weeks, you don’t have a dramatic before and after picture to point to, you are building something important is so pivotal.
And it is so different from being a part of a group or a program that is constantly harping on the end goal. The end goal, have you reached your goal? What is your goal? How far are you from your goal? A program that is constantly harping on the goal and not on the habits that are your secret weapons. Your habits, your consistency, those are your weapons. Those are your power tools.
Harping on that goal and whether you are there or whether you are not there, that is only motivating on a perfect day. Shame and guilt are not motivating. They are showstoppers. They are not going to create you freedom from overeating. Not one bit.
Harping on the goal and whether you are there or not is only motivating on a perfect day. When all the stars are aligned. When you have done everything right. And not only have you done everything right, but it is reflected on the scale, which we all know doesn’t always happen.
Giving yourself support instead to build consistent and by consistent, I mean, imperfectly consistent. Consistent, doesn’t have to mean 24/ 7 100 percent of the time, giving yourself support to build consistent, imperfectly consistent winning habits. This is how you complete the marathon. This is how you get the gold medal that you’re aiming for.
It is not constantly. Are you there yet? Are you there yet? Yes or no. Good day, bad day. It’s the support of building something powerful that is going to get you to freedom from overeating.
We generate fears while we sit. We overcome by action. I really like this quote. I talked to a lot of women who are ready to join Your Missing Peace because they want these things. They want the coaching. They want the support. They want the tools to ditch diets, to ditch overwhelm, to stop overeating and emotional eating in a way that will last. They want to move on from this thing they haven’t been able to figure out. They are ready to realize the potential in this area of their lives, this potential that they have achieved in so many other places in their lives.
And at the same time, sometimes your brain will be so busy generating fears and perfectionism that even though you’re ready. You get stuck in the fear. You get stuck sitting in the fear instead of taking action. You get stuck in thoughts like, this is not the right time. There will be a better time. I just have to wait. Or I just haven’t tried hard enough. Or I could do this, but I’m not sure I won’t let myself down again.
This sounds really great, but I’m afraid it won’t work for me. I know the people around me think I should be able to do this on my own. I shouldn’t have to invest in myself, or I’m afraid to invest in one more thing.
I hear these thoughts all the time. And let me tell you, these are normal human thoughts. And they’re normal human thoughts that will have you grabbing the graham crackers in no time. Sitting in fear, sitting in fear that builds more fear. That builds more inertia, that builds more procrastination. These are normal human thoughts. It isn’t the right time. I haven’t tried hard enough. I’m afraid it won’t work for me.
And what you might not realize is that the reason I do this podcast, the reason I created and run Your Missing Peace is because the world needs an approach that helps you succeed, even when you have these thoughts and these doubts and these urges to wait to procrastinate. Even when you are sitting in fear that is perpetuating fear.
You deserve a program that works, even when you have these thoughts and doubts and urges to put yourself last again.
I do what I do because you deserve a solution to your overeating that doesn’t leave you wanting to procrastinate. That will pull you out of that place when your brain goes there of sitting in fear and creating more fear. You deserve an approach to ending overeating that won’t stand for you creating one more overwhelming plan that leaves you feeling deprived. Or that leaves you feeling like a failure and that honors all the strengths and the abilities that you absolutely do have. Even if your brain has forgotten that you have them.
So today, take action. Take imperfect action. Don’t let your fear keep you in a place where you keep creating more fear. There is no better time than now. And you and I, we deserve so much more than graham crackers. Use these podcast episodes. If you haven’t downloaded my free roadmap, go to the link I’m going to put in the show notes and you can download that and you can use this as a starting guide.
And join me inside Your Missing Peace. We are there. We are imperfect humans building consistent habits that feel amazing and that create results.
You can do this.
I’ll talk to you soon.