the hardest part about recovering from a dramatic mental illness is that the only ones who notices the small things are yourself and your therapist.
your friends, your family, the people you love — they’re flat-out not gonna care if you take a shower instead of cutting yourself, or if you get in all your meals for a day, or if you curb your spending significantly, or if you go for a walk instead of locking yourself away and crying.
to us, these are major accomplishments. they’re fucking cake-worthy victories deserving of celebration.
to everyone else, it’s just behaving kind of “normal”, and will always be compared to your other problematic behaviors — “why are you still behaving so histrionically when it comes to sex?” “why are you still so irrationally afraid of abandonment?” “why do you still get so angry?”
the fact of the matter is, they won’t be happy until you’re cured.
but don’t let that discourage you.
if you think you’ve done well, feel good about it. treat yourself. call your therapist and celebrate with them on the phone, if you have the option.
pull yourself through. don’t minimize the small stuff. they’re big fucking deals.
Source: Unknown
In recovery it is important to want to recover for yourself and that means doing things without praise at times. It means making changes which people wont even notice you making.
I remember the first time i put cheese on my sandwich instead of just jam… i was so terrified of fat and cheese as i had been told all my life that cheese and fat makes you fat. And it took so much courage to actually eat cheese, and i felt proud but anxious as well. And when i ate it, i just wanted everyone to notice what a huge thing i had done… but nobody noticed. Not the staff and i didnt want to tell anyone either, i wanted them to notice and praise me.. but no one did. And that was how it was in recovery, people dont always notice the small changes you make because no one has even noticed them/the things you have done. So you have to learn to be proud over yourself.
You went for a 10 minute walk instead of a 30 minute run? THats awesome, you knew you shouldnt run, or you didnt want to so you didnt.
You ate a snack even if no one was watching you or no one told you to? Thats awesome, be proud of yourself and know that you went against your eating disorder and a huge step forward.
Your eating disorder will try to make those things seem awful and not something you should be proud over, but you need to do the opposite of your eating disorder and keep fighting and making changes even if no one notices them!!
(c) A Life without Anorexia – Read entire story here.