One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I often default to a state of vigilance…or rather my nervous system defaults to vigilance. Whether through nature, nurture, or trauma my orientation toward my world can be perpetually scanning the horizon (however far off and however out of my control) for incoming threats, or worse, impending doom.
This sounds more ominous than I actually experience it, but I’ve learned that my mind and body like to grip tight in fear and cycle over all the ways that I could prevent or avoid whatever thing in life could go going.
It was surprising to me to discover, years ago, that not everyone is like this. Some people don’t fret that much about the future. Some people default to assuming everything that can go right will go right. Some people move through world trusting that they are and will be safe. Some people don’t grasp for perfection or doubt their belonging. Some people don’t view their humanness as something to fix.
I feel a lot more like these people today than I did for most of my life and that’s in large part because I work with my mind.
Let me take you back for a bit. I used to live a few blocks from a house that hosted a weekly meditation sitting for twenty-somethings. Many Wednesday nights I would walk over, stroll through the prayer-flagged gate, up the rickety wooden stairs stairs and into this sanctuary. After slipping off my shoes and finding a comfortable seat on the living room floor, along with other young sitters, I would meditate.
The ‘sits’ were led by one of the members of the house who took responsibility for tracking time, ringing beginning and entry chimes, providing tea, and often reading a passage of some Buddhist text.
On one particular night the host read an excerpt from Thich Naht Hahn’s Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. Our host opened with the question, “Can you smile at the non-toothache?” What a curious question. My ears perked up and he read on:
“The foundation of happiness is mindfulness. The basic condition for being happy is our consciousness of being happy. If we are not aware that we are happy, we are not really happy. When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is a wonderful thing. But when we do not have a toothache, we are still not happy. A non-toothache is very pleasant. There are so many things that are enjoyable, but when we don’t practice mindfulness, we don’t appreciate them. When we practice mindfulness, we come to cherish these things and we learn how to protect them. By taking good care of the present moment, we take good care of the future. Working for peace in the future is to work for peace in the present moment.”
Whoa, right?!
So “Can you smile at the non-toothache?”
Back then if I were to answer the question: no. I rarely smiled, let alone noticed the happiness of the “non-toothache.”
Today the “non-toothache”, the general absence of intense searing pain in my life, and the presence of much goodness is with me.
Over the years since that Wednesday night sit I’ve learned that thoughts are often just thoughts and that future (or past) tripping is made up of stories that take me out of experiencing my life as it is happening here and now. Doesn’t mean I don’t get caught up back there or out there, it just means I know more clearly when, why and how to bring myself back to here.
One of the main practices that supports this is savoring.
Savoring is a mindfulness practice.
Savoring is about living in the moment. It’s about taking in what is already here — feeding on the feast right in front of you.
Savoring is about gratitude and sensuality.
Savoring is all about sinking into and pausing to enjoy the non-toothache.
I noticed over the past few months I was starting, once again to approach my life from an anxious place. I noticed I was focused on fixing and judging more enjoying and allowing. As I looked at what little time I have left this year I knew I wanted to turn the tides.
So I created Savor as a way to practice, just for these last weeks of the year, simply being in my life (and my home, my relationships, and my body), enjoying the good that is here now, appreciating instead of nitpicking, and trusting instead of vigilantly scanning the horizon. And I know I’m not the only one who is hungry for this kind of grounding and support. I’ll be offering Savor each holiday season so be sure to sign up for the newsletter for updates!
(c) Rachel W Cole – Read entire story here.