This year, but particularly this week, I’ve made some huge strides with my body positivity. I’ve always struggled with self-image. I was always a larger kid, I’ve actively thought about my body and it’s weight since first grade when my teacher weighed us and measured our height to show us how much we changed at the end of the year. People have pointed out my weight. It’s been a source of embarrassment for me throughout my childhood. The thought of working somewhere with a predetermined uniform scares me, because I’m afraid they won’t have my size. I will avoid walking through a pathway of chairs so I don’t bump anyone. I’ll avoid going to the doctor because I don’t want to see the scale or be berated for my weight.
My weight has always been fluctuating, but for most of my life I’ve only thought about what could be and was never happy with how it looked in the present. I didn’t truly start to try to accept myself how I was until high school. Busty Girl Comics helped me feel better about my breasts and represented women of all shapes and sizes that were affected by a large chest. Her blog led me to videos from Laci Green where she talked about accepting yourself and loving the body you’re in. Soon I found body positive blogs on tumblr, like this one. These have been pivitol in helping the process of loving my body. Little by little, I have come to accept myself.
This past year has really been a large part of that. I’m in a relationship for the first time and even though I tell myself everyday how beautiful I am, it helps to be reassured by someone I love. Letting someone else see parts of you that you don’t find beautiful is terrifying, but has also been a large step in accepting myself. No one is running away screaming, they are doing the exact opposite. If my body doesn’t bother them, why should it bother me?
A new friendship has also helped me with my body positivity. Having a friend that I can openly talk about our body image issues with has been a large part of feeling better about my body. She has reassured me on days where I want to be brave and wear something with a little more skin, but feel like retreating back to the closet and picking something more conservative. We talk about how society sets us all up to hate our bodies and how we have to overcome these obstacles within ourselves.
This week I did something that high school me would never have imagined. I wore a bikini on a beach in public. With the help of my friends and years of self-assurance that my body is beautiful, I had enough courage to wear a two piece that showed off my stomach and my curves. I did not retreat off the beach or place a t-shirt over myself. I wore it proudly, unabashedly. Under different circumstances, I’m not sure I would have done it. If more people had been on the beach, if I was with my family, or if I wasn’t feeling particularly beautiful, I may not have done this. My love for my body ebbs and flows. Some days are better than others, but lately there are more good days than bad. For those still struggling, take it day by day if you must. On the days were I don’t feel beautiful, it’s a nice reminder that you don’t owe anyone beauty. You don’t have to be beautiful, but you are always worthy. You are worthy of love, of self-acceptance, and of happiness.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!
(c) STOP HATING YOUR BODY – Read entire story here.