So Steven and I are back in NYC this week. The city where we met, fell in love, got engaged, and…moved away from!
Sadly, New York is not what it used to be, but it is always fun to come back and visit our old haunts. Especially the places we used to go when we first started dating.
Which is fitting because this week, buzzing around the internet is this viral “list” of places women “absolutely refuse” to go on a first date.
I’ve attached it below for your entertainment. And mind you, this list has been viewed over 21 million times!
Now, before I get into the story of Steven and my first date, I need to address this abomination of a list.
As a woman, I am ashamed of my fellow women and their entitled attitude that would turn up their nose to a date to the Cheesecake Factory, or Olive Garden, or Applebees. That is just so arrogant to think that one is above a chain restaurant. Honestly, it makes me sick.
Here, this gentleman worked up the courage to ask you out, and will be spending his hard-earned money on treating you for dinner, and you’re going to scoff because he chose a chain restaurant?! That just, honestly, is so distasteful.
There are a few, however, that I think are legitimate: the gym…not for a first date. Your or his house…in terms of safety with someone you just met: not wise. Family functions…perhaps a bit bold for a first date, but there could be an exception. The movies: a classic, but I would want to talk to you and get to know you — not sit in silence.
But going for coffee, going for ice cream, going to a sports event…those are great first dates! I’ve even gone on dates to big young adult masses in the city…granted not on a first date, but if it’s something that both parties are excited to do, then go for it!
I just think this list makes women look so shallow and judgmental and frankly, entitled. And it’s disappointing.
Which leads me to my first date with my husband, Steven.
Allow me to set the stage: We had been friends for 10 years. So the whole, first date thing, it was more of a…this is the first time we were actually hanging out one-on-one. Which adds a whole ‘nother layer of intricacy to the dynamic.
But our first date was at Monarch, which is a rooftop bar in Midtown Manhattan that turns into a dance floor after about 10pm. Which…was absolutely our vibe.
You see, we truly fell in love on the dance floor, dancing to Latin Reggaeton music. And though we would always arrive with our group of friends (we were in the same friend group), by the end of the night, it was always just the two of us, dancing to J Balvin or Bad Bunny.
But anyway, we met for drinks after work on a Thursday…very New York. Had two drinks at the bar where we talked a lot about things that, even though we’d been friends for 10 years, we hadn’t gotten to a deep level like that. Vulnerable. Sharing things about who we are that never really come up in normal New York City weekend crew-type friendships.
And the rest is history.
Our chemistry was absolutely undeniable, but we were hesitant to upset the applecart, if you will, because we were in the same friend group.
And even though we thought we were being undercover about the whole deal, we found out later that our friends were onto us the whole time. ?
So anyway — I guess we violated the viral list, since we went to a place that just a) serves drinks, and b) is a nightclub. Both things that so woman somewhere turned her nose up at for a first date. So there you go. Guess you can’t trust everything you read on the internet since…we ended up getting married!
Long story short: ladies: go with the flow. Seriously, how unattractive to think you’re better than a chain restaurant. He’s spending his hard-earned money on you: be grateful, for cryin’ out loud!